10 Essential London Theatre-Going Tips

So you’re heading to see a West End show in London but you’re a little worried about the whole theatre-going process? Well fear not, theatre is nowhere near as stuffy as it once was and if you follow a few simple tips, you’ll have a lovely time.

1) Book the best seats you can afford.

Those cheap seats from a grotty-looking central London booth may seem like a good idea at the time, but when you sit down to discover a pillar in your line-of-sight you’ll soon change your mind. The best seats in a theatre are generally in the middle, a couple of rows back from the front of the stalls (the central block of seats directly in front of the stage) or at the centre front of the dress circle (the first balcony). If you’re unsure of which tickets are the good ones, price is a pretty fair guide; theatres aren’t out to rip anyone off and the expensive tickets are expensive for a good reason.

2) Arrive early.

A visit to the theatre and a Saturday afternoon down the local multiplex are very different. You can’t turn up 10 minutes late to the theatre and saunter in, safe in the knowledge that you’ve only missed the adverts. When attending the theatre always be sure to arrive at 30-45 minutes before show time. After all, you’ll need a few minutes to visit the loo, pick up a programme, and buy a drink.

3) Radio silence.

Switch your mobile phone off unless you have a very urgent reason not to. The funny thing about ‘silent mode’ on most phones is that it’s not silent; the buzz and glow of a vibrating mobile phone is noticeable on a packed Tube train, never mind a silent theatre. In short, unless you’re a doctor, someone’s about to give birth, or you’ve left kids with a babysitter, switch it off.

4) Have a wee before the show.

Sounds utterly ridiculous to suggest I know, but you’d be amazed at just how many adults can’t ‘hold it’ until first intermission. There is very little more annoying than getting drawn into whatever fantasy is unfolding on stage only to be dragged back to the real world by some idiot shuffling along the row, apologising to each individual person, just so they can go and do the wee they should have done before the performance started.

5) Dress appropriately.

This rule is a lot looser than you might think. Don’t turn up in a football shirt or a pair of those velour jogging bottoms with a hopelessly optimistic slogan printed across the bottom, but wear something that you’re comfortable in. Jeans are perfectly acceptable at West End theatres these days, but if you want to dress up then feel free. Just remember that it gets hot in theatres and that big ball gowns, though pretty, are just too big to wear in a seat no bigger than those you’d find at a cinema.

6) Don’t talk (or sing along).

Chatting during a performance annoys those around you and can distract the performers on stage. It would be a terrible shame to spoil a lovely trip to the theatre by being asked to leave the auditorium for disrupting the performance, wouldn’t it? The same applies for singing. Even if you are seeing Mamma Mia!

7) You don’t need a packed lunch.

A packet of quiet sweets (ideally ones without individual wrappers) is fine, but leave your sandwiches and thermos at home. Nobody will thank you if you crack open a parcel of fish paste sarnies wrapped in 40 feet of tin foil, even if you offer to share. London has plenty of places to eat after the performance, visit one of those instead of disturbing those around you.

8) Heckling is not, and never has been, funny.

If you don’t approve of an actor’s performance, spot someone missing a queue, or are just in a bad mood, don’t take it out on those on stage. Sitting through an uncomfortable second act because some smartypants in the second row felt the need to shout something mean-spirited at a performer is enough to turn a wonderful night out into a squirm-inducing nightmare, you don’t want to be responsible for that. Plus, if you’re unlucky you might get a tongue lashing from an enraged luvvie, and then you’d look very foolish indeed.

9) Be aware that most things sold inside a theatre are expensive.

No matter how cheaply you get your tickets, be aware that everything sold inside the theatre, from souvenir key rings to the little interval ice creams, will be a touch overpriced. Be prepared for a round at the bar to cost around a third more than it might at your local and don’t be shocked if buying a couple of small ice creams doesn’t leave you much change from a tenner. It’s really nice ice cream, though.

10) If you’re autograph-hunting, be polite.

Gathering at the stage door to meet one or two of the performers is a vital part of the theatre-going experience for a lot of people. Be patient, be prepared to leave a programme behind with a self-addressed envelope if none of the cast are in a meet-and-greet mood, and be nice. Imagine you’ve just finished a full day at work and you’ve got to work your way through a small-but-adoring crowd just to get in your front door; it’s like that every single evening for a lot of West End stars and it can be a bit stressful.

For London Shows, companies such as Show-and-Stay.co.uk offer London theatre bookings and hotel deals. Great if you want to make the most of the capital and turn your visit into a full weekend.

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Posted by List Guy on January 26, 2011. Filed under Entertainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.