5 Things That Should Never be Made Into Sushi
Let me start this by proclaiming: I’m not a sushi purist by any means. I’m not one of those people who turns their nose up at non-traditional or fusion-inspired sushi because it’s “not authentic Japanese” and insists on boring everyone at the table with never-ending talks about how traditional Japanese sushi is more satisfying than Americanized sushi. I think California Rolls are tasty and just as acceptable as a traditional tuna roll and I’m pretty open to playing around with my sushi. That being said, there are some things that should never be made into sushi, and here is my top list of things I’ve discovered, while browsing the web for new recipes, that just made me raise my eyebrows and say “…really?!?”
5. BBQ Chicken Sushi
I’m willing to accept a lot of experimentation in my sushi, but I have to draw the line somewhere. I love BBQ chicken. I love sushi. I just don’t think I love them in combination. When i think of rice that I would pair with chicken, I want pungent, exciting, spicy flavors. I don’t want the vinegary and sugary taste of seasoned sushi rice. Also, I think the chicken would just be too stringy and tough.
4. Spam Sushi
Referred to as ‘musubi’ in Hawaii where it is apparently popular, this is nigiri made with pieces of spam in place of a lovely piece of raw tuna or salmon. This just doesn’t seem like it would be very edible. The sushi rice is sweet and sour. The spam is salty. It doesn’t seem like it would create a lot of happy in my stomach. Oh, and did I mention…it’s spam. wtf?
3. Hamburger Sushi
I think I would almost be able to accept this if it weren’t for the little dressing of ketchup on the top. Placing red meat in a maki roll format isn’t that strange of an idea in and of itself. The problem with infusing hamburger meat into a rice roll and referring to it as sushi, however, is that it would much more correct to call it kimbap. Kimbap is the Korean variation of sushi which usually includes red meat like hamburger in its rolls instead of fish. I myself would avoid it with the normal uncooked red meat concerns. The rolls themselves taste fine, (it’s just beef and rice, after all) and hamburger meat is generally molded to a tender enough consistency for a roll. I just feel it’s incorrect to refer to a hamburger roll as ‘sushi’, when there’s another, far more appropriate term for it from another culture.
2. Horse Sashimi
Hmmm. According to the website I snatched this picture from, raw horse is a luxury item in some neighborhoods in Tokyo. Apparently the taste is similar to beef and is slighter milder in flavor, with more fat marbling. Personally, I’m gonna say no to this one, cause I don’t really want to imagine eating Seabiscuit, and I don’t think it should qualify to be served in sushi restaurants anyway, since it’s not fish. And it’s raw red meat, again a no-no in my book.
1. Mac n’ Cheese
Ok, I said I wasn’t going to be a pretentious sushi purist, but I’ve gotta go off on this one. What. the. hell? This is shameful. This is pitiful. Macaroni and cheese is not sushi. The presentation of this plate suggests that it’s being prepared by a professional chef in a restaurant, which means that some enterprising chef has found himself a cute little sushi press, filled it with mac n’ cheese, and is trying to sell it as novelty sushi, and of course for some unrealistically inflated price. Is that ground beef in the middle? Is this a sloppy joe in a mold? How can you refer to this as sushi? This is a travesty!
OK I’m done. That’s my take of the top 5 things I don’t think should be made into ‘sushi’. What do you think? What’s the weirdest, grossest, or most absurd ‘sushi’ you’ve ever eaten?
David Fishman is a blogger and internet marketer living and working in Atlanta, GA. In his spare time, he likes to cook and blog about his efforts about How to Make Sushi.
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Spam musubi kicks total ass. I’m from the mainland where Spam is considered second only to cat food, but Spam on rice is SO good! Don’t knock it till you try it!
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