There are times in our lives wherein we find ourselves in a deep and bottomless pit. No matter how hard we try to struggle to fight and survive, we sometimes find ourselves eaten up by our fears and failures.
Some people get by. Some triumph over the struggles, dust themselves up, and carry on with their lives. While there are those who endure, there are others who choose to end everything (the suffering and pain) by taking their lives.
Suicide or taking your own life might be the best perceived solution but it is NOT. I repeat, IT IS NOT! If you have a friend or a family member who is contemplating suicide, you might want to intervene with the methods in this post.
Offer an empathic ear. Allow him or her to tell you about everything he feels. Listen quietly but let him feel that you are there to help him. Let him feel that you understand how he feels. Give him your full attention.
Respond to him by saying phrases such as “I understand how you feel. But what I don’t get is…” Ask questions and echo what he has just said so that he can hear what he is saying. This will give him a chance to assess his own feelings, actions, and thoughts; this method is known as “active listening”.
He is still angered and frustrated about everything so he will most likely not listen to your interpretations of his problems. Again, let me realize about his decisions. Let him talk for as long as he wants until he calms down.
Do something if the person is crying. Hug him or give him a tissue to wipe off the tears. Don’t discourage him from crying because crying is a good way to release stress and pressure too. Crying is cathartic which is an out pouring of emotions.
By the time your friend is calm, he or she is now ready for your insights and opinions. Tell him how important he is to you or to his whole family. Let him know that his life is valuable.
If he is married and has kids, you can tell him that taking his own life is not a good example for his kids. If he commits suicide, he will be leaving his family members who are all depending on him. His children might be traumatized by this event too. They might think that their father committed suicide because he doesn’t like them.
If he doesn’t have any children, you can enumerate the important people in his life and tell him about how it would greatly impact them if they lose him.
Find dangerous items or anything that can kill or hurt your friend. Take it away from the house and put it in a safe place. You can talk to someone who lives with him and leave your number. Tell your friend to call you if he feels distraught or if the need to hurt himself surges again.
As much as possible, do not leave until someone else can watch over him. During this time, offer him a drink or food. Offer your help.
4. Seek Help
You can look for support groups that aim to help people with this problem. Accompany him to that group. You can have him join this group for advice and support. This will make him feel that he is not alone – that there are many others who are overwhelmed with problems. Show him that there are other ways to cope up with his problem.
If you want, you can set him up with an appointment with a professional. This will help him discover more about himself.
Help him plan his life as he is in the process of recovery. The best thing to do this is by making lists. Make a list about how to improve himself, list about the things that upset him, and even a list of the fun things that he can do to take his mind of suicide.
There are times wherein changes in career, home, and relationship are in order. Don’t leave your friend despite these changes. He needs you now more than ever.
Guide him so that he may not commit the same mistake. He may take baby steps but together, you can make it through. You can help him deal with his difficulties together.
There is no problem that cannot be solved. Remember that there is a Supreme Being out there that hears and see everything. There is always someone out there who can help so let your friend realize all this. If possible, take your friend to seek professional help and help him or her get through this trying time. Take care!
Marcy Gray is passionate about life and the struggle that life has to offer. She writes about this. In addition, she writes about different topics such as Stroller and pram and Removing Skin Tags Yourself.