There are three basic types of rock in the world and they are classified according to how they are formed.  They are igneous rocks (formed from molten rock beneath the earth’s crust); sedimentary rocks (formed by the accumulation of sediment over geological time which is then compressed to form the rock), and finally, metamorphic rock (which is any kind of rock which is then subjected to extremes of heat and pressure which changes the chemical and physical features of the original rock).

Rock is being formed everywhere all of the time, but some rock is much rarer than others – in some cases, extremely rare.

The Rarest Rock of All

The rarest rock in the world is probably the rock formed preserved from the earth’s original crust when it was created billions of years ago.  To date, only two pieces have ever been found; the first piece was discovered in Canada in 2008 and the second piece in India in 2009.

The rocks date back to around 4 billion years ago, and were formed from cooling magma which eventually formed the primeval crust of the newly formed Earth when the solar system was initially being formed.

Martian Meteorites

Running second in the listing of the world’s rarest rocks must be the Martian meteorites which have been found scattered around the world.  They are exceedingly rare because they have come all the way from the planet Mars!  The fact that we don’t have to go to mars to study Martian rocks surprises many people, however the Earth has been bombarded with bits of leftover solar system for billions of years.

This said, the Martian meteorites are typically igneous rocks because they have been blasted off the face of the planet by volcanic eruptions, some as old as the oldest rocks formed originally on our own planet.

Obicular Granite

The rarest rocks originate at the deepest depths of the Earth’s mantle; the mantle is the molten coating which surrounds the core of our planet.  Rocks from these very deep depths are referred to as “Plutonic” because they are formed at depths associated with hell and Pluto was the Roman god of the underworld.

Obicular granite is a plutonic rock which is found in only a very few locations around the world.  Outcrops have been discovered in two locations in Chile, one in Finland and recently, in a quarry in Connecticut.

It’s highly unlikely you’ll be finding this granite forming your kitchen counter tops anytime soon.

Carbonaceous Chondrites

These are another extra-terrestrial visitor, but this time from the remnants of the material which was left over when the sun and the planets were initially formed.  They are extremely rare and come with diamonds and sapphires which were formed before the solar system itself.  They are extremely old; older than any rocks indigenous to the Earth itself and were formed around stars which themselves blew up and provided the original raw material to form our own sun.

Carbonatites

Carbonatites are very rare, with only around 300 localities known to produce them.  They are igneous rocks, i.e. formed from volcanic activity or deep within the bowels of the molten earth, and what makes them rare is their chemical composition.  They contain a high level of carbon as opposed to silicon, and this makes for unusual rock formations when they are formed.

Article provided by Virginia Slate Roofing Company, providing quality slate roofing materials world-wide.  Slate tiles can provide a  roof that lasts a life-time and slate flooring you’ll never wear out. Rock on!

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Shopping Around

If you have been using the same utilities company for more than two years, now is the best time to shop around to get a better deal. It’s imperative to search the market in order to find the best deal for your business, and using the internet is the best way to hunt-out an unbelievable deal.

Hiring an Expert

If you’re energy needs are complex, it may be advisable that you hire an expert to take care of it for you. Not only will an expert be able to find you the best deal, they will also be able to provide you with expert information on long-term energy trends so you can be well prepared in the event of energy prices spiking.

Switch it off!

When your business shuts up shop for the day, make sure to turn off all PCs. PCs are responsible for consuming 250W of power, so leaving them on overnight is asking for trouble!

Measuring Your Electricity Usage

If you don’t measure it, how on earth are you going to be able to manage it? Although it’s a little boring keeping your eye on your electricity meter, it is more interesting when you are saving large sums of money!

Lowering Your Voltage

Europeans run their electric devices at 220V, 22V lower than us. The items that are commonly found around your office will run more efficiently at a lower voltage so go out and purchase a voltage adjuster.

Natural Light is Free!

From pet stores, to ice cream shops, to corporate housing companies, almost all businesses have windows. Make the most of the natural light in your workplace. After all, it’s free, at least until Al Gore’s nighmarish vision of the Earth’s eco-state comes to pass!

LED Light bulbs

Unlike lower-power light bulbs, LED light bulbs are cheap to run, don’t flicker and should last for years.

Get rid of the Xerox

Photocopiers are hungry things when it comes to electricity consumption so best get rid if you don’t use them overly much.

Eco-friendly PCs

Keep an eye out for some of the new market-leading eco-friendly PCs that are available to keep those business electricity bills down.  Google was attempting to create them some time ago. Perhaps these will be much more widespread in the future.

Set a Target for Your Business Electricity Bills

You have KPIs across your business right? No? If not, better get them. And fast! Why not make goals in order to keep those business electricity bills down! add corporate housing link

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Without further ado, we selected from a big list the best funniest fitness ads of all ages. For sure there were many more candidates for our list but this set of ads has something to say besides being funny.

1. Powerhouse Gym Body building man

The objective of this well designed ad is twofold. First is to make you think about the many ways available to exercise your muscles and about how strong you can become through exercise. If exercising on a construction site is not among your preferences then why not join a gym!

2. Fat man breaking the billboard

The message from this one is obvious: Fat does not look good and it’s time to take action!

3. Fitness clock

The perfect time to exercise is any time! Is there a chance that you look at this clock and not remember that you did not exercise for the day?

4. Doing street pull-abs

As you can see from the image people are starring at the ads. They attention is focused on the people exercising above their heads. For sure they will wonder what the ads are promoting and for some it will be the trigger they needed for a long time to get into a gym.

5. This way to karma

A beautiful girl doing a very difficult pose is a great way to show the way to karma! You need to be fit to perform such a pose and maybe your way to karma and fitness starts by following this direction!

6. Get Ready for the next office party

A perfect combination of technology and reality. Use the photocopier at work to take a photo of your butt and then refuse to go to the office party because you feel bad and ashamed about your body. It is definetely time to get into action and make sure that you will attend the next office party!

7. Weight lifting in the bus

Very creative setup in a ‘normal’ bus. Get hold of the weights with one hand and get the emotional power you need to make a visit to the gym.

If you found the inspiration you needed in the above fitness ads then its time to take control of the situation and plan your fitness and weight loss program. It’s never too late to start looking after your body because at the end of the day you do not want to end up like some the people in these ads!

Myln can help you get into the right track. In his weight loss blog you can find many ways to lose weight and also learn how to lose belly fat get into shape for your next party.

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We should. Here are 5 expenses that will soon add up if incurred too frequently.

Your Daily Starbucks

Up to £3 or $5 for a coffee in some of their stores, Starbucks is a globally celebrated brand. But if you make a habit of indulging the costs will rise. $5 even three times a week adds up to $780!! If you were going to buy a single item at that price, you’d think it through, wouldn’t you? It’s really much more cost efficient to stick with homemade coffee!

Lunch

It might take a little bit of planning, but making up your own sandwiches before you go to work could save you  a whole lot of money. Buying a sandwich every work day of the year could cost around £3 per day or up to $5 for those on the US side of the Atlantic. There are 252 working days of the year in the UK, assuming you work Monday – Friday and we take out the Bank Holidays. Let’s estimate that in the US (given varying holidays) will work a similar number. Now, we’ll be generous and take off a further 22 days for annual leave and that leaves 230 working days. If you buy a sandwich every single working day you could incur a bill of up to £690 or $1150!

Credit Card Spending

Those interest rates might seem low and you may be tempted to think, “ah well, it’s ok for a few small purchases.” But the interest adds up fast and credit card debt is a growing problem. Spending on plastic is more expensive than buying things in cash or by debit card. So why do it, unless it’s absolutely necessary?

Impulse Purchasing

Supermarkets know that we love to buy things – particularly things we don’t need. This is why there are strategically placed items near checkouts and so on. They’re often lower priced items, sometimes indulgent snacks and so on, left to tempt you. Even a few dollars of impulse spending each week in a supermarket will add up. Write a list – stick to it! Everybody has will-power.  They just need to use it!

Bottled Water

Let’s say you pay $1 or 70pence in the UK for a bottle of water. OK. Now, let’s say you do this on each work day (taking into account Bank Holidays and annual leave) – 230 days. That’s $230 or £161! Now, if you “don’t like” tap water, why not invest in a filter? You could easily buy one for the amount you might otherwise spend on bottled water in a year!

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Turn the Lights Off

No, not all of them! But at least when you leave a room make that little bit of effort just to switch your lights off behind you.  It only takes a second and could even cut your power bills, and lowering power bills can reduce the burden of payments not only in your home but also in a corporate housing facility.

Solar PV Panels

Get solar pv panels installed on your home. You don’t have to physically install them yourself, of course, you can get someone in to do it for you! And there are massive financial incentives too now. Many countries around the world now have solar feed in tariffs that will pay you just for generating your own power. Not to mention the drastic cuts you can make to your electricity bills.

Recycle

It’s a little bit more effort than just throwing everything in one bin, granted. But it doesn’t exactly take monumental amounts of effort to separate your trash and recycle. Again, most developed nations now have recycling facilities close by each residential area or will even pick it up for you!

Public Transport

Ok maybe this one isn’t such a lazy option. But if you take the train or the bus to work instead of driving, not only do you cut your carbon footprint, but you also get to snooze on your way to work! You can’t do that behind the wheel!

Don’t Stand By

Putting computers, TVs and other electronic devices on standby is a complete waste of energy. Just turn them off completely. If you’re not using them, you don’t need to supply them with any power!

Of course, nobody will single handedly save the world and it would take a massive global effort to prevent a climate change crisis. But we’ve can all do our bit!

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1) Beg mommy and daddy

Yes, this is rather childish, but hey they may have stuff that’s just taking up space they don’t really want any longer. It may not be the prettiest stuff ever, but unless you just won the lottery guess what – not much of your furniture is going to match! But with modern art deco these days, you don’t have to worry! It’s commonplace for even expensive furnishings not to match!

2) Thrift / Consignment Stores

These are very iffy. Sometimes you can find a really good deal at the local Goodwill (especially if you are in a large city), however not always. I remember once I went to pick up a couch at a Salvation Army for the break room where I worked; as soon as we picked it up we realized the back was broken. It was back to back with another couch in the showroom, so you couldn’t tell when you sat on it. However when we got it into the break room, if you leaned back – it fell back! So along with looking for those mysterious stains… look at the structural quality of the couch.

However there are other concerns with used furniture. Whenever you buy anything with cloth or padding, you run the risk of bringing pests, such as bed bugs, into your home. Bed bugs are small parasites, which infest your home and feed on your blood. They are less than 1 millimeter at maturity, and it’s very difficult to learn how get rid of bed bugs. So be very careful and inspect everything closely before bringing it into your home.

3) Friends

When I first moved out and got my own place, I was a very active kiteboarder. I knew the owner of my local shop very well, and his mother recently had to be placed in an assisted living facility, so he had all her stuff to get rid of. This is very rare I will admit, but mention that you’re moving to all your friends – who knows, you may luck out like I did! I got a couch, a very nice coffee table, and some original oil paintings, amongst other furnishings.

4) Packages.

Oh so you think you’re too good for Goodwill or bumming off your parents, huh? Or maybe you just happen to be one of the lucky few who has landed his or her dream job right out of college and have a fat paycheck. Or maybe you won the lottery. If you are in the latter of the two categories, I am very happy for you. Needless to say, you probably have some extra free cash and want the best deal. But you’re like me, and your taste in décor is… well let’s be honest… not good. Thankfully there are people out there to help you! And I’m not talking rental places… you end up paying WAY too much in the long run for your package. But there are some good furniture places out there which will offer well coordinated packages at rather good deals.

5) Craigslist

Craigslist is very inexpensive, if you’re smart about it. I like to leave Craigslist for the last for a few reasons – the first is it’s the most obvious; the second is there is a lot to say about being safe with your Craigslist purchases. Craigslist is a very powerful tool; you can find a new apartment, sofa, dining room table, bed, car, job, and girlfriend all on one site – and all for free. But be careful about what may be crawling around on any of these things you find! There is also a wonderful “free” section on Craigslist, where you can literally get anything you can think of. Upon moving last month, my new apartment didn’t have a ceiling fan – found one for free, and two bar stools for $15!

Other than the bed bug problem, make sure you do you research on everything before you buy it; maybe have a friend who specializes in that product inspect it for you. When I bought my motorcycle, I had a friend who was a mechanic go with me to inspect the bike before I made my offer. Craigslist is a wonderful tool, just as long as you can make sure you are not ripped off. Also pay attention to the bed bugs I mentioned up in the section about thrift stores.

Congratulations on moving out of your parent’s basement, no matter if you’re 18, 23, or 32. There’s a lot to starting out on your own, and finding furnishings for your apartment shouldn’t be one of them. I have had neighbors who are ten years older than I am, and who have been in the professional world years longer than I, who say I have more furnishings than they do. Well, I got most of it through one of these methods, however most is off Craigslist. Good luck!

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10.  Sexy Fireman:

I don’t know what it is about firemen, but they just get to me.  They seem so brave and strong, yet compassionate.  Yes guys, women love firemen!  If you are a guy that wants to start just as many fires as he puts out you should try dressing up in a super sexy version of a fireman for Halloween.  I can think of a few firemen that I would love to come and “rescue” me.  This smoking hot look is going to cause a few fire alarms to go off, trust me.

9.  Housewife:

Even if you aren’t from Orange County or New Jersey, this costume idea is a fun look for big girls that want to make some fun out of something that is a bit “desperate”. This sexy version of a housewife is a tongue and cheek parody that mimics the outrageous characters that mesmerize so many via television each week.   A handy spatula and a Cosmopolitan will complete your hilarious and very sexy housewife look.

8.  Minnie or Mickey Mouse:

Classic Minnie or Mickey is a tried and true Halloween favorite.  These easily recognizable characters have been around for years and loved by all ages for good reason.   Minnie Mouse can be everything from a sweetly adorable look for a child or if you are a bigger girl there are many sexier versions available that recreate this look in anything but mousey fashion.   Even guys can have some fun “mousing around” in a Mickey Mouse costume.  These classic costume styles are always going to be a great choice for Halloween.

7.   Buzz Lightyear:

Buzz Lightyear is as popular now as ever as he continually seems to soar into infinity and beyond.  His character is quirky as well as unmistakably spacey.  His flight suit as well as his jet pack is fully loaded with gizmos and widgets to successfully complete most any imaginary space mission, including the mission of neighborhood trick or treating.  Your personal quest may be as simple as having a complete blast off recreating this wildly popular character this Halloween.

6.   Baby Gorilla:

Your little monkey will be the hit of the trick-or-treating brigade in this adorable miniature gorilla suit.  Your friends will go bananas over this positively precious little costume.  The hat will not only frame your babies face in the most charming way, but the entire outfit will also keep your baby snuggly warm and bundled up against the chilly autumn air of Halloween.

5.  Pit Crew:

Gentlemen– start your engines–indeed.  This costume is all about fast cars and fast women!  This adorable pink “Pit Crew” costume is not for the timid.  It is not only eye-catching but is also very sexy.   Men love car racing and you are bound to get lots of male attention in this bright pink, racy and very hot pit crew get-up.   Your man will be begging for a pit stop as well as waving the checkered flag to hurry you on to the finish line!

4.  Pirates:

In recent years, pirate characters have been newly popularized by movies such as Pirates of the Caribbean.  Whether you are a sexy swashbuckler looking very curvaceous in this peasant style dress or a really ghastly and frightening version of the ghostly Barnacle Bill, a dramatic pirate look is bound to create many opportunities for Halloween fun that won’t send you on a walk down the plank.

3.   Alice In Wonderland Characters:

Once again a movie has renewed interest in classic characters.  I love the idea of putting a group of friends together and each dressing up as a different character from Alice In Wonderland.   The Mad Hatter can be created in traditional fashion with his top hat and cravat, or you could go all out with the bright orange hair and pale face of Tim Burton’s movie version of the Hatter, recently recreated by Johnny Depp.  Alice is a simple classic look with long blonde hair and a light blue puffy and ruffled dress.  The Queen of Hearts is a dramatic look for the boldest member of your Halloween party group.

2.  Indiana Jones:

Even after all these years, Indiana Jones still personifies the ultimate man.  He’s just the right combination of brains and brawn.   There is a little vulnerability found in his intoxicating sweet streak.  It seems every girl has had a crush on sexy Indy.  Dressing up as this hot archaeologist for Halloween is a smart move, guys—if you are Indy for a night you might just be the perfect man.  What could be better than that?  Well, if you’re a George Lucas fan in general, then perhaps dressing up as a Star Wars character is more up your alley. Heck, when it comes to George Lucas movies, there are hordes of famous movie characters to pick from.

1.  Avatar:

This year’s highest grossing movie left moviegoer’s spellbound by its special effects and rich characters.  Dressing up as one of the peaceful Na’vi people will be a dramatic costume choice that will not go unnoticed by anyone at your Halloween party.  The blue-skinned characters are not only very recognizable, but are surprisingly sexy considering that you will spend the evening donning the color of a bright blue smurf.   If you are up for this much “look” you are bound to be the highlight of any Halloween event you attend.

This article has been graciously provided by Halloween Express.

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1. Kathie Vaughan and Her Dog Eve:

Kathie is a paraplegic, paralyzed from the waist down. She recently bought a used truck and brought her loyal pet Eve along. When her truck began fishtailing, she struggled to bring it to a stop when the cabin suddenly began filling with fumes and smoke. With the truck in danger of lighting on fire and exploding, she struggled to escape. The smoke in her eyes made her unable to see well enough to put her wheel chair together and get out of the vehicle. That is when Eve took control of the situation and pulled her owner from the truck. Eve dragged Kathie away just in time, as the vehicle went up in flames when they were merely 10 feet away. Police arrived and yelled to Kathie that she needed to move further away from the vehicle, as it was bound to explode. In pain and unable to move, Kathie grabbed a hold of Eve’s collar and her loyal friend dragged her 40 more feet to safety. Eve saved Kathie’s life and was awarded the prestigious Stillman Award for bravery. (source)

2. Kevin Weaver’s Best Beagle Friend Belle:

A 3-year-old Beagle named Belle was the first canine to be awarded the VITA Wireless Samaritan Award after she heroically saved her owner during a medical emergency. Kevin Weaver suffered from diabetes and began having more and more seizures. A stranger had recommended that he train the Beagle to be a medical assistance dog and he heeded the advice; it is a good thing he did. Belle was trained to sense when Kevin’s blood sugar was too high or too low. The expensive training also included a worst case scenario. If Kevin was having a seizure, Belle knew how to bite down on the number 9 on his cell phone, which was programmed to dial 911. On the morning of February 7th, Kevin was sure glad to have paid for the training. He suffered a severe seizure and collapsed. When he woke up, he was in a hospital with Belle by his side. Emergency dispatchers received a call and only heard a dog barking, so they sent someone to check out the situation. They found Kevin and carried both dog and owner to the hospital in the ambulance, just in time to save his life. If Kevin would have been stuck at home until his roommates arrived, he would not have made it. Kevin and Belle celebrated the dog’s heroics and Kevin’s life with a steak dinner that night. (source)

3. Eve and Norman Fertig and Their Half-Wolf Savior:

Eve and Norman take care of injured animals on a regular basis, and when a severe winter storm hit upstate New York, they were never more thankful. The Fertigs were trapped outside by two fallen trees. The trees were blocking their path to any form of safety, including their house about 200 feet away. They took shelter in a narrow alleyway but became trapped. The storm surprised them after a nice day, so neither had warm clothes on. Around 9:30pm, their loyal follower of seven years, Shana, a 160-pound half-wolf-half-German shepherd, found the Fertigs and began digging through the snow and under the trees. After two hours, Shana was able to dig a tunnel all the way to their house. She returned to the Fertigs, grabbed Eve’s sleeve and Norman grabbed Eve’s leg, then Shana pulled them all the way through a hole in their fence and to their front door. They reached safety at 2am but with no electricity in the house, and they needed to get warm. Shana stayed with them, providing warmth until firefighters arrived the next morning in response to calls from their neighbors. Eve and Norman will never regret rescuing Shana. (source)

4. Omar Eduardo Rivera Saved by His Guide Dog:

On September 11, 2001, Omar Rivera was trapped on the 71st floor of the World Trade Center’s north tower when the airline struck the building 25 stories above him. Mr. Rivera, a blind computer technician, brought his guide dog to work with him on a daily basis. When the chaos ensued, he unleashed his loyal dog named Dorado, patted his head, and told him to go and save itself. Omar described the setting as too dangerous and hectic for him to possibly escape. After several minutes on his own, Omar’s canine friend returned to guide him down 70 flights of stairs. On the way down the stairwell, a fellow coworker lent assistance and both Dorado and the helpful coworker successfully guided Mr. Rivera to safety just in time. As a reward, Dorado was provided with enough dog chews to last a lifetime.
(source)

5. Angela Marcelino and Her Pit Bull Protector Maya:

On Father’s Day 2007, Angela Marcelino was surprised to enter her home and find a robber in her house. The robber quickly shoved Angela inside and began choking her to prevent her from screaming. Angela made just two successful screams, which alerted her pet Maya. Maya came running and quickly began attacking the man. While Maya was attacking, Angela was able to get to her feet and defend herself. The robber opened the door and quickly left, realizing that he had chose the wrong house to target. When police arrived, Maya had blood from the criminal on her and the police took a swab of it for DNA testing. Sometime later, the detective called Angela to help identify the robber in a lineup of criminals and the one she pointed out matched the DNA from Maya’s face, providing enough evidence to put him in prison for quite a while.  Maya was given several treats as a reward, something that she did not protest considering that dogs eat everything. (source)

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Most people don’t necessarily want to spend a ton of cash on a Halloween- a lot of the ways you can go wild below don’t really involve TOO much money. Of course, it’s your own choice if you want to spend $200 on a provocative outfit…

1. Get Into Trick or Treating – Throw on your old Scream mask and find a place to hide. Nothing says Halloween quite like scaring little kids into a hysterical screaming frenzy. Of course… if you’re really tall and older looking, you may want to avoid the Scream mask. Remember, nothing ALSO says Halloween like creepy adults.

2. Throw a Themed Party – Sure, sure everyone has a themed party on Halloween, but make yours different. Make it an “Undead” party or a tribute to a classic horror film. Zombies are always a plus in my book- and the more drunk you get the more “zombie” like you’ll act.

3. Costume Each Other – Everyone brings over things for a costume like old clothes, costume jewelry, fangs, blood, hats, anything at all. You can find some Halloween costume coupons to round out the purchase. Then you spend the first part of the night dressing each other into ridiculous outfits.

4. Go Reverse Trick or Treating – Take a group of “too old to trick or treat” friends and walk the streets going house to house giving out candy. Cash in those Halloween coupon codes and start your journey- just make sure the neighbors know you aren’t poisoning them.

5. Take a Strange Look at Scary – Everyone decorates their house with ghouls and goblins, but what if you decorated your house with the faces and memories of ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends? This seems like a strange idea but those memory boxes take up space and Halloween is about exercising the demons. Just be prepared to explain this to a judge when you appear for the restraining order.

6. Really Carve Something – Find the pumpkin that requires a pick-up truck and bring that home to carve. Then invite your friends over to help you carve it out. When the pumpkin begins to spoil, politely move it over into your neighbor’s yard and pretend you never bought it.

Note: This step is very important. Make sure you remove EVERY SINGLE pumpkin seed. After removal, you must proceed to salt them and let them sit in butter. Once complete, bake and consume.

7. Make Your Own Costume – Attempt to sew your own costume. This can be the most fun thing you’ve ever done, or you could end up looking like you escaped the psych ward.

8. Go Really Strange – Purchase the most far out costume you can find. Everyone else looks silly on Halloween, why not you? Just make sure that your costume is at least recognizable. Going as “The Blob” or some other vague and only slightly known horror character isn’t going to cut it. Going as Edward Scissorhands could be fun and a little off kilter.

9. Go Back to Highschool – Remember those legendary parties in high school? Bring those memories back by hosting a high school day party. Everyone comes dressed in the clothes they wore in high school. Have everyone email you a song or two they loved back in the day and build a playlist to share at the party.

10. Have the Anti-Costume Party – Have yourself a beer and chili party. Your guests can bring a pot of chili or they bring a case of beer. The best part? For being the host you get to keep all the beer. I hope, for your sake, that everyone leaves before the chili sets in. That would make for a not so happy ending to a “could have been awesome” Halloween.

So what’s your excuse for not having fun this Halloween? Too many boring chores to do? You have another month or two to plan it, so make sure you decide whether you’re going to go all out crazy (in Edward Scissorhands apparel) or keep it low key while kicking back with some friends, beer, and delicious food.

Elysabeth Teeko is interested in everything ranging from tech, to home decorating, to blogging. You can find her on Twitter- @Elysateek.

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5.  Lack of Tree/Undecorated Mantel

What, no ornaments?  What about the stockings?  Why are they not hung by the chimney with care?  Where are the little figurines of me on the mantel?  What kind of holiday spirit are you people working with here?  None, obviously.  Try again.  Unless a home is clearly excited about the holidays, I’m not excited to be there, which means I’ll be leaving with my bag still pretty heavy.  Hey, fair warning.

4.  Reindeer Farts

For such magical creatures, my flying reindeer have some horrible gas.  Mainly because you nice people leave carrots for them, which make them super, super, duper gassy.  The reindeer are fine on the WAY to your house, but after they leave?  Fart city.  I’m not kidding.  Reindeer have four chambers to their stomach, which means that they have to chew cud in order to facilitate their digestion.  Carrots?  They just mess up the works and make them gassy.  Real gassy.  So, if you’re going to leave snacks for the reindeer (and it’s awfully nice of you to think of them), leave them some moss, or lichen.  They love that stuff.

3.  Asphalt Roofing

Look, Folks.  I’ve been around for a loooong time.  4th Century, maybe earlier.  I absolutely hate asphalt roof tiles.  If I fall, the rough material rips my special Santa suit, and if I’m in a warm location, the heat from the shingles melts into my boots.  That’s not OK.  Give me a slate tile roof any day.  It’s nice and firm, my Santa boots have great tread, so I don’t slip, and they just LOOK so much nicer.  So go ahead and spend the extra bucks, mmkay?

2.  Stale or Moldy Cookies

Why bother?  I don’t NEED cookies.  I mean, I LIKE cookies, but lots and lots of people leave me cookies, so if you’re going to leave stale or moldy ones, just skip it.  I mean, the people next door probably left out some nice Mallomars, or something similar, so don’t sweat it.  They’ll just draw ants, after all.  I’m not eating them.

1.  Sour Milk

Ew!  It only stands to reason, when you leave milk next to a fire ALL NIGHT LONG, that it’s going to get kind of funky.  If you start off with fresh milk, it has a chance of making it.  If you start off with kinda funky milk, it ends up looking like the picture above.  I also enjoy a nice bottle of water, or sometimes a Coca Cola.  The high temperatures of the fire make the bacteria thrive, resulting in some nasty milk.  So, remember that, OK?

Now that I’ve aired my grievances, I think we all feel a lot better about the holiday season that approaches.  Feel free to send you letters via the North Pole, and be good – because I’ll be watching!
Love and Christmas – Santa Claus  

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