The electronic cigarette. A device which delivers nicotine without the tar, toxins and combustion of regular cigarettes.
Sounds great – to a smoker. But for superior, non-smoking human beings like you and me it is an absolute disaster. Here’s why:
As we all know, many smokers just wouldn’t quit if we couldn’t threaten them with a long, painful and ugly death. After all, why try to quit something that you enjoy when it doesn’t harm you much! Especially when nicotine cessation products only have a 5% long term success rate. (Don’t tell smokers that or my shares in Pfizer could go down!)
Pensions are a huge drain upon the country. But smokers die before non-smokers – not when they are working, but soon after retirement. They have worked their whole life, they have paid taxes their whole life (more than you or me!) but they don’t get any of it back at the end. Less pension for them means more for me, which will be a nice little top-up on my dividends from Johnson and Johnson.
Smokers pay a fortune in taxes! In fact, in the UK smoking taxes pay the cost of treating smoking diseases several times over (and unlike us, smokers won’t need treatment for old age diseases). Quite simply, if THEY pay less tax WE will have to pay more tax.
The tobacco industry may kill millions of people around the world a year, and be targeting new victims in the third world, but they also pay respectable dividends to citizens of the West like you and me. A device which delivers the pleasure of smoking without the tar, combustion and toxins will destroy the industry if not banned.
Likewise, the pharmaceutical industry, which currently controls the nicotine cessation market, will suffer. Despite all their efforts, they have yet to come up with a nicotine cessation method which is as good as quitting cold turkey. With smoking no longer posing the risk it did, they stand to lose a fortune.
And don’t forget what the pharmaceutical industries do for the nation. They fund anti-smoking organisations to the tune of millions, and they fund the very organisations that police them – which means great anti-smoking drugs continue to be licensed even after their users start killing themselves!
Let’s face it, you smell better when you don’t smoke. Unfortunately, you also smell better when you smoke an e-cigarette. Smokers have always been sexier than us (The aura of danger? That devil may care attitude? Blast them!) but to some extent that has been redressed by the odour of stale tobacco – an odour which can be very offsetting to the opposite sex.
Remove the odour, and smokers return as a potent competitor in the battle of finding a mate.
Flavours used in e-cigarettes are obviously a cunning device to lure children to smoking first e-cigarettes. After all, it is well known that grown ups hate flavors such as chocolate, vanilla and apple. Flavours have already been banned in cigarettes (but only flavours that no-one smokes, so it won’t hurt our dividends!), why not ban them everywhere else as well?
It is true that pharmaceutical companies also use flavours to attract customers, but these companies have registered shares which pay dividends, and so can obviously be trusted.
Anti-smoking lawyers have recently discovered (since the invention of electronic cigarettes) that nicotine is BAD for you. Previously, the substance was considered addictive, but not that bad – some idiot scientists even thought it could be used to treat certain diseases!
(Please note that nicotine is not bad when used in Nicotine Cessation Products.)
We are aware that some scientists have supported the device. These idiots believe in tobacco harm reduction, which they liken to wearing a condom when having sex (when obviously, as the Pope pointed out, one really shouldn’t have sex at all. Or any other fun, for that matter.)
Remember, it is a scientist’s to discover the facts , not present it. It is the job of lawyers, politicians and anti-smoking fanatics to twist present the facts.
The electronic cigarette is not safe. As Dr Mintz points out, he wouldn’t recommend e-cigarettes, just as he wouldn’t recommend coffee. Because, just as with coffee, there’s still a danger!
FDA tests found that e-cigarette ingredients contained one of the 40 carcinogens found in cigarettes. Admittedly, these carcinogens were 1400 times lower than those found in Marlboro cigarettes (and one later test found that the vapour of the NJOY e-cigarette was 100% toxin free) but there’s still a danger!
Dr Joel Nitzkin, Chair of the Tobacco Control Task Force for the American Association of Public Health Physicians, estimates that this risk could be anywhere from 1/10th of 1 percent of cigarette to a whole 1% of cigarettes. There’s still a danger!
And that’s why we should force smokers to remain with the cigarettes that kill 400,00 Americans and 100,000 Brits every year while we ban electronic cigarettes.
But let’s get down to the real reason.
We all like to feel special. We all like to feel important. But to do that we have to be more important than other people.
Smokers have become a sub-human species. They have been refused work, even when they don’t smoke at work. They have been banned from smoking rooms, even when they are not smoking. They have been refused medical care, even after they have quit smoking. They have been barred from adopting children and even, in a few cases, separated from their own children on the spurious grounds of third hand smoke.
After creating this sub-human group, how can you remove it from us? We non-smokers want to feel superior, we want to be better. Please don’t take this away from us!
A Call to Action
These ‘vapers’, as they call themselves, are growing in number. They have defeated the FDA in court, and every news story urging a ban is plagued by a slew of comments pointing out inconvenient facts. Urge your representative to ban this device now, urge your local anti-smoking organisation to continue their propaganda efforts and for your local pharmaceutical company to execute key players and activists in the industry.
About the writer
The writer, James Dunworth, who doesn’t work for ECigaretteDirect.co.uk, urges you not to check out the electronic cigarette, and not to read the free electronic cigarette e-book.