Sex, money, death and 7 other reasons the electronic cigarette should be banned

The electronic cigarette. A device which delivers nicotine without the tar, toxins and combustion of regular cigarettes.

Sounds great – to a smoker. But for superior, non-smoking human beings like you and me it is an absolute disaster. Here’s why:

1. Quit or die!

The NJOY electronic cigarette used during Carmen.

An opera singer uses the e-cigarette to circumvent a ban on smoking on stage. Disgusting!

As we all know, many smokers just wouldn’t quit if we couldn’t threaten them with a long, painful and ugly death. After all, why try to quit something that you enjoy when it doesn’t harm you much! Especially when nicotine cessation products only have a 5% long term success rate. (Don’t tell smokers that or my shares in Pfizer could go down!)

2. Pensions

Pensions are a huge drain upon the country. But smokers die before non-smokers – not when they are working, but soon after retirement. They have worked their whole life, they have paid taxes their whole life (more than you or me!) but they don’t get any of it back at the end. Less pension for them means more for me, which will be a nice little top-up on my dividends from Johnson and Johnson.

3. Taxes

Smokers pay a fortune in taxes! In fact, in the UK smoking taxes pay the cost of treating smoking diseases several times over (and unlike us, smokers won’t need treatment for old age diseases). Quite simply, if THEY pay less tax WE will have to pay more tax.

4. Destroying established industries

The tobacco industry may kill millions of people around the world a year, and be targeting new victims in the third world, but they also pay respectable dividends to citizens of the West like you and me. A device which delivers the pleasure of smoking without the tar, combustion and toxins will destroy the industry if not banned.

Likewise, the pharmaceutical industry, which currently controls the nicotine cessation market, will suffer. Despite all their efforts, they have yet to come up with a nicotine cessation method which is as good as quitting cold turkey. With smoking no longer posing the risk it did, they stand to lose a fortune.

And don’t forget what the pharmaceutical industries do for the nation. They fund anti-smoking organisations to the tune of millions, and they fund the very organisations that police them – which means great anti-smoking drugs continue to be licensed even after their users start killing themselves!

5. Sex

Let’s face it, you smell better when you don’t smoke. Unfortunately, you also smell better when you smoke an e-cigarette. Smokers have always been sexier than us (The aura of danger? That devil may care attitude? Blast them!) but to some extent that has been redressed by the odour of stale tobacco – an odour which can be very offsetting to the opposite sex.

Remove the odour, and smokers return as a potent competitor in the battle of finding a mate.

6. Flavours

Flavours used in e-cigarettes are obviously a cunning device to lure children to smoking first e-cigarettes. After all, it is well known that grown ups hate flavors such as chocolate, vanilla and apple. Flavours have already been banned in cigarettes (but only flavours that no-one smokes, so it won’t hurt our dividends!), why not ban them everywhere else as well?


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It is true that pharmaceutical companies also use flavours to attract customers, but these companies have registered shares which pay dividends, and so can obviously be trusted.

7. Nicotine

Anti-smoking lawyers have recently discovered (since the invention of electronic cigarettes) that nicotine is BAD for you. Previously, the substance was considered addictive, but not that bad – some idiot scientists even thought it could be used to treat certain diseases!

(Please note that nicotine is not bad when used in Nicotine Cessation Products.)

8. Scientists

We are aware that some scientists have supported the device. These idiots believe in tobacco harm reduction, which they liken to wearing a condom when having sex (when obviously, as the Pope pointed out, one really shouldn’t have sex at all. Or any other fun, for that matter.)

Remember, it is a scientist’s to discover the facts , not present it. It is the job of lawyers, politicians and anti-smoking fanatics to twist present the facts.

9. Not safe

The electronic cigarette is not safe. As Dr Mintz points out, he wouldn’t recommend e-cigarettes, just as he wouldn’t recommend coffee. Because, just as with coffee, there’s still a danger!

FDA tests found that e-cigarette ingredients contained one of the 40 carcinogens found in cigarettes. Admittedly, these carcinogens were 1400 times lower than those found in Marlboro cigarettes (and one later test found that the vapour of the NJOY e-cigarette was 100% toxin free) but there’s still a danger!

Dr Joel Nitzkin, Chair of the Tobacco Control Task Force for the American Association of Public Health Physicians, estimates that this risk could be anywhere fromĀ  1/10th of 1 percent of cigarette to a whole 1% of cigarettes. There’s still a danger!

And that’s why we should force smokers to remain with the cigarettes that kill 400,00 Americans and 100,000 Brits every year while we ban electronic cigarettes.

10. Superiority

Smokers, even when they are not smoking, are not allowed in this hospital waiting room. Brings back the good old days of apartheid, doesn’t it!

But let’s get down to the real reason.

We all like to feel special. We all like to feel important. But to do that we have to be more important than other people.

Smokers have become a sub-human species. They have been refused work, even when they don’t smoke at work. They have been banned from smoking rooms, even when they are not smoking. They have been refused medical care, even after they have quit smoking. They have been barred from adopting children and even, in a few cases, separated from their own children on the spurious grounds of third hand smoke.

After creating this sub-human group, how can you remove it from us? We non-smokers want to feel superior, we want to be better. Please don’t take this away from us!

A Call to Action

These ‘vapers’, as they call themselves, are growing in number. They have defeated the FDA in court, and every news story urging a ban is plagued by a slew of comments pointing out inconvenient facts. Urge your representative to ban this device now, urge your local anti-smoking organisation to continue their propaganda efforts and for your local pharmaceutical company to execute key players and activists in the industry.

About the writer

The writer, James Dunworth, who doesn’t work for ECigaretteDirect.co.uk, urges you not to check out the electronic cigarette, and not to readĀ  the free electronic cigarette e-book.

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Posted by on June 15, 2010. Filed under Health. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Responses to Sex, money, death and 7 other reasons the electronic cigarette should be banned

  1. The patented Electronic Cigarettes offers to effectively simulate the experience of smoking actual Cigarettes, without any of the health or legal issues surrounding traditional Cigarettes.
    The E-cigarettes (also known as the electronic cigarettes and electric cigarettes) are the healthier alternative to the traditional cigarette. It is absent the thousands of chemicals, toxins, carcinogens, and cancer-causing agents typically found in traditional tobacco cigarettes, making the e-cigarette the safer choice to alternative smoking!
    The patented Electronic Cigarettes offers to effectively simulate the experience of smoking actual Cigarettes, without any of the health or legal issues surrounding traditional Cigarettes.The E-cigarettes (also known as the electronic cigarettes and electric cigarettes) are the healthier alternative to the traditional cigarette. It is absent the thousands of chemicals, toxins, carcinogens, and cancer-causing agents typically found in traditional tobacco cigarettes, making the e-cigarette the safer choice to alternative smoking! More information visit- http://www.esmoke4you.com/main.php

  2. Ok after reading this blog posting I would like to chime in here. The author of this blog has absolutly no clue about this subject. I have been a traditional cigarette smoker for about 18 years. I am 36 years old. Here is the deal. I started using the e cigarette for about a month now and I love it. Like the author says its all the benefits of smoking without the concern of chemicals and secondhand smoke. These are some reasons it should not ever be banned. 1. The cigarette companies for whatever reason are immune from putting the ingredients on the packs. E cigarette companies do this. 2. The ingredients in the “smoke juice ” ae water, nicotine ( the one bad thing in all of this), propolyene glycol( whch is found in artificial flavorings)natural and artificial flavorings and vegetable gluten. 3. These devices are effective. What is the first thing a smoker does after eating? After sex? THEY SMOKE! Well with these they are getting all the effects without the damaging harm. Nicotine is bad its addictive, it raises blood pressure and promotes hyertension. Hmmm well so does caffine and other legal stimulants which are in energy drinks that are not approved by the F.DA. but we give those to kids and young adults. No don’t get me wrong I am in no way promoting these products to kids and children or for people that don’t smokebut for us former tobacco smokers it is a godsend. 4. They are cheaper than tobacco. E cigs cost the user about 1/3 of the price of tobacco cigs. Enough said on this point. 5 no secondhand smoke. So why ban these devices??! Ther is absolutly no reason to. Everyone wins. It should also be noted that I dowork for a major soft drink company not a tobacco or e cig company. In my opinion the wort thing the e cig companties did was when they devolped these devices the called them e cigs anything with the word cigarette in the name is looked upon as evil. I would like to challenge this author to a debate if he or she is willing via a neutral website forum via webcam . Where viewers can be polled in realtime . Email me if you want to set this up. Thank you for your time

    • Jason,
      Enjoyed your post. I too, have recently taken and enjoyed the e-cig plunge. Since it’s been awhile since your post, I’m wondering how it is going with you and e-cigs? In my case, I quit real cigarettes soon after I started using e-cigs. And I now much prefer e-cigs to real cigs for numerous reasons. However, I do plan on quitting e-cigs eventually so I can eliminate the negative effects of the nicotine. Have you done so at this time? Or do you have any knowledge of the difficulty of quitting e-cigs? Is supposed to be easier to quit e-cigs than too quit real cigarettes? Thank you, Jim Martin.

  3. I think you’ve missed the humour Jason. The author has been involved in the ecig business for a few years and he’s just having a laugh at the ridiculous reasons people might have to ban them.

    Happy vaping

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